Live Life into the Fullest daw sabi ni DREAM

Im a Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia stage 2 carrier, I know Im too young for this disease Im only just 15 years old .. Damn disease kills me every day .. I attempt suicide last july 5, 2011 but it wasn’t successful. My uncle see me hanging in that ladder with string on my neck. I know that’s a sin but I just want my life to be easy. Leukemia plus broken hearted brings my mind to an unnecessary decision in my life. I love him so much and I can’t live without him, how would be my future without aFUTURE HUSBAND without my DREAM. I spent a lot of time caring and loving him, full attention , but that was not enough. Now he love’s another girl and every time i visit his wall it hurts me a lot. I miss the way he texted me every morning when he wake up “good morning dream kaen ka na pag gising mo iloveyou:*” but now no more text like that. When it was late at night he will text me“dream tulog na tayo good night sweetDREAMs see you in DREAMland  iloveyou and I want you to be the only girl that i love for the rest  of my life” Now tell me how would be my life without him, without the man of my DREAMs, without the man where i promised my FUTURE. Now he came back my DREAM is with me again but i know that his just force to do that because he wants me to be happy and enjoy my last days here on earth. Fucking Shit I feel I’m so damn no one loves and cares me at all. Were only just friends but i still love him more than a friend.  OMG i want the old HIM the old us the DREAM. :/  I guess it’s easy for me to die rather than take all this problems, take all this pain. Haiissst.. Damn Life :’(  Damn Cancer .. I hate my Life so Much :/

My Future, My Dream By: Aries V. Macandili

Dream.. I know marami akong naging kasalanan sayo. Katulad na lang nung sinabi mo, yung pambabasag ko sayo sa harapan ng madaming tao. Tapos yung pag iwas ko sayo minsan. Marami din tayong naging away.. Pero ang malaking tanong ng lahat, KAYO BA? :( (Di ako makasagot minsan pag tinatanong nila ko ng ganyan. :D)

Alam ko ako lang ang may ayaw. Alam ko nahihirapan ka na.. Nararamdaman ko yun. Nakikita ko.

Sorry sa lahat ng maling nagawa ko sayo.  Sorry dream aa.. Kung nasaktan kita..

Ngayon, aalis ka na papuntang Batangas para mag-aral, iiwanan mo na ko. Mag-iingat ka lagi. Mamimiss kita. :'(

Sana di mo pa din makalimutan na may naiwan kang DREAM/FUTURE dito sa Mandaluyong.

Nagsisimula na kasing mangyari yung mga sinabi ko sayo sa Linear Park eh..

Yung mga UNEXPECTED. :( (DRAMA KO! :D)

Dream mahal na mahal kita.. And you know that.. Sorry ulet sa lahat. Will you ever forgive me? :'(

Kung may 100 dahilan para iwan ka, hahanap pa din ako ng isang dahilan para ipaglaban ka. :)

I’ll stop loving you the day a mute woman tells a deaf man that a blind girl saw a paralyzed boy walking on water or if a mango grows on an apple tree on the 30th day of February .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEtPnPKddhE (Watch mo kanta ko yan para kay Papa.. :D)

open letter to my one and only

Dear Aries, 

                  I’m sorry if you think that I am selfish. I hope you can see what is in my heart. I wish you could read my thoughts and my heart. But you can’t. You never have. I guess I keep calling you because I want to know that you’ve have moved on. I also want some closure between us. I am sure that you don’t want us to get back together. The months we spent together was one of the defining moments on my life. It changed me in ways I can never fully grasp yet.

                  I loved you. I was young and naive. I thought I was incapable of love but you taught me how. I loved you. When I was with you and when I was enveloped in your love, I always thought about you. Everyday for several months, I’d say a prayer. I’d think of you. If I could build a garden for every time I thought of you, I’d forever walk in that garden.

                  It is true. When we were together, you were all that I thought about. You were all that I cared about. I may have a hard time expressing my love but you melted my heart. Somehow you did. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I never knew what love was until we met. I never thought I was capable of that kind of love. Similarly, I never thought that I was capable of so much hurt and bitterness.

                  When I say I loved you, it doesn’t mean that I don’t love you anymore. You have touched my heart in ways I can never imagine. I think once you love someone, you are marked for life. You were once part of my life and I would carry that with me for the rest of my life.

                  The girl you once knew and the girl who once loved you has grown up. I am not the same person that I used to be when I met you. I have changed. And I’d like to believe that I changed for the better partly because of you. Although it was hard not to be bitter given that you have broken my heart so many times.

                  I don’t know if you can fully understand what you did to me. I know I’ve been cruel to you. I know that I’ve hurt you. I know it is not right to hurt someone intentionally but I thought that since you’ve hurt me.

                  I trusted you to take care of me. I trusted that when times would get tough, you would be there for me and not take advantage of my generosity. But you did. You took advantage. What really hurt was that you have never allowed me to express my sadness. When I tried to tell you how much I was hurting, you didn’t allow me to speak. It hurt because you never explained why you did something so terrible.

                  Did you know that it took me months to get over that? I tried to really forgive you. There was a time when I was tempted to forget you because of that. But I stopped myself. But I was so ready to walk away because I was so hurt.

                  I have met someone. And I don’t know if he feels the same way for me the way that I do for him. I am hopeful though. But so much of my concept of love came from you. I love the little things about him. I love how he’s always there. I love how sweet and innocent he is. I love how simple his view of the world is. It’s the small things about him that matter. And I know where I learned this from. I learned it from you.

               I hope you can hear what my heart is saying. I wish you could read my mind. Because right now, there is no bitterness and sadness in my heart anymore. There’s only hope.

                I wish you could look back at our relationship and see how necessary it was. How it was meant to be part of our journey in life. How, you were meant to be part of my journey and I, yours. They say that we meet people for a reason. Meetings aren’t just random encounters. People meet each other because they’re meant to be part of each other’s journey. Our journey together was far longer. It lasted almost a decade. Some encounters are short but it’s still no less significant.

                I may not know it now. You may not know it now. But there was a reason why we met. Even if our journey together ended, at least we can look back and say to ourselves that we have loved. Because we have loved.

 Loving You,

   Pauline

a PERFECT NIGHTMARE's CHERISH EVERY MOMENT 'coz were the PERFECT TWO :">♥♥♥

Sometimes we fight

Sometimes I cry

Why dont I just tell him goodbye

Sometimes I should but

Sometimes I dont

Build up the strength to say that its wrong

Sometimes I hate sometimes I love

Sometimes I hurt sometimes I dont

Sometimes I wait for him to change

But its okay I just got to pay

And I dont ever wanna leave him alone

They say im brain washed but im in love with this man 

Keep tellin myself that its not worth it

I already know I dont deserve it

But if its from you I dont mind hurting

This is my perfect nightmare

So when will I wake up and scream

No way..

Sometimes I keep it cool

Sometimes I let him know

sometimes I even pack my bags to walk out the door

Sometimes I feel safe

Sometimes I really dont

Sometimes I promise that im ready to let him go

but I dont ever wanna leave him alone

Hopin' he's changing but im scared he's not cant see a way to leave him

And every time when we

Go through ups and downs

I always think about how we could work it out

And every time that you need to say good bye.

Yes I count the time

When you come back in my life

Coz what ever you say what ever you do.

I'll be right here no matter what people say

I'll always be their for you.

Coz I cherish every moment

Spent with you

And theirs nothing in this world

That I wont do..

And I promise that I'll

Always make it right

Every time when you feel down and start to cry

Coz it hurts me when your far away

I need you right next to me

I just.. can't be With no one else

Will you see? ill always

When your hurt it hurts me to

And I just gotta be

The only one that's lovin you..

You can be the peanut butter to my jelly

You can be the butterflies I feel in my belly

You can be the captain

And I can be your first mate

You can be the chills that I feel on our first date

You can be the hero

And I can be your sidekick

You can be the tear That I cry if we ever split

You can be the rain from the cloud when it's stormin'

Or u can be the sun when it shines in the mornin'

Don't know if I could ever be Without you

'Coz boy you complete me

And in time I know that we'll both see That we're all we need

Coz you're the apple to my pie

You're the straw to my berry

You're the smoke to my high

And you're the one I wanna marry

Coz you're the one for me 

And I'm the one for you 

You take the both of us 

And we're the perfect two

Baby me and you..

You can be the prince and I can be your princess

You can be the sweet tooth I can be the dentist

You can be the shoes and I can be the laces

You can be the heart that I spill on the pages

You can be the vodka and I can be the chaser

You can be the pencil and I can be the paper

You can be as cold as the winter weather

But I don't care as long as were together

You know that I'll never doubt you

And you know that I think about you

And you know I can't live without you..

-------

a PERFECT NIGHTMARE's CHERISH EVERY MOMENT 'coz were the PERFECT TWO :">♥♥♥

DREAM ♥

DREAM.. sabi mo saken dati WALANG SUSUKO diba ??

bakit ikaw parang ayaw mo na ??

sumusuko ka na ba ??

konting anu lang galit ka na agad..pag nag sosorry ako sayo..

1thousand na sorry na ata nasasabi ko bago mo ko mapatawad..

pero pag ikaw..1 sorry mo lang ok na lahat..

mahal na mahal kita DREAM..

gustuhin ko man mag BF ng iba ndi ko magawa..

kasi makita lang kitang nagagalit/nagseselos..

parang sinasaktan ko na din ung sarili ko..

i'm willing to give up EVERYTHING just for you..

ndi ko na pinapansin si RSP kasi ayoko na mag selos ka..

suitors are NOT ALLOWED .. (alam ko naman na nasasabi mo lang na pede ako mag BF kahit ndi pa tayo e.. pero DREAM nararamdaman ko nman e.. na ndi ok sayo na my BF ako.. kasi pag meron angSUNGIT mo saken e,,)

------------------------------------------------------------

pero minsan naguguluhan ako e..

nararamdaman ko na mahal mo AKO 

mga patunay nun ..

unang una is si EFFORT..

ang dami mo nian .. :">

mas my tym ka pa saken kay sa kay ... hmm..

lagi kang nasa bahay.. ginagawa mo ang lahat ng paraan

para lang mag kasama tayo.. :)

pang second is si SELOS

bakit nag seselos ang isang tao .. kasi ???

kahit hindi mo sabhin DREAM halata nman at ramdam

ko kung nag seselos ka e..

pang third ACCEPTANCE

 katulad nung nakaraan ..

gusto mo na na mag kalimutan tayo..

pero sa kabila nun ni.accept mo yung SORRY ko..

ang dami ng trials na nag daan saten DREAM ngaun pa ba tayo susuko ?

tulad nung kay anu ... kahit nalaman mo na yun ..

nagalit ka pero tinanggap

mo pa din ako.. pinatawad mo pa din ako..

kasi alam ko na MAHAL mo AKO ! 

MAHAL din naman KITA e...

pang fourth is si CARE..

lagi mokung pinapaalalahanan na kumain na ko

minsan pag my sakit ako gusto momag pahinga lang ako

inumin ko ung mga gamot ko.. 

ayaw mo din ng lumalaboy akokung san.san

lalo na pag gabing gabi na .. 

nag aalala ka pag umiiyak ako..

nagagalit ka pa nga e..

ayaw mo kasi ng umiiyak ako..

pang fifth ang pagiging IYAKIN mo !!

yan ung last thing na ginawa mo sa buhay ko na super natouch ako..

kasi hindi ko akalain na iiyak ka sa harap ko ..

kasi ayaw mo na mag kaLAYO tayo..

simpleng bagay lang yan para sa iba pero para saken yan ung

pinaka d BEST thing na ginawa mo ..

lahat yan DREAM na appreciate ko ..

kaya sana HINDI MASAYANG LAHAT TO !

IKAW lang DREAM .. wala ng IBA pa !!

PROMISE...MAHAL NA MAHAL KETA DREAM .. :"> :* ♥ 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

minsan pag nkikipag landian ka sa mga EX mo

pag mag kasama tayo.. kala mo OK lang saken

hindi ako nag papahalata kasi ..pero sa 

totoo lang NASASAKTAN AKO DREAM...

akala mo lang na wala akong CARE sayo..

pero ang totoo pag madaling araw ka na umuuwi 

sa inyo alalang alala ako..

pasensya ka na DREAM a.. hindi kasi ako

SHOWY e.. hanggang SALITA at NOTE or POST lang ako ..

alam ko naman na nararamdaman mo kung gano

kita ka MAHAL diba .. kaya sana naman DREAM

wag natin hayaang mawala to.. puh-lease..

pinag hirapan naten to e..tpos mawawala na lng

ng ganun ganun na lng diba ..

lahat ng mga memories naten.. hinding hindi ko

makakalimutan un.. un kasi ung pinaka magandang

naging parte ng buhay ko.. ang makasam ung

taong pinaka mamahal ko... 

kaya sana HINDI MAWAWALA TO DREAM !!

Don't know if I could ever be Without u
'Cause boy u complete me
And in time I know dat we'll both see dat we're all we need
Cause u're d apple to my pie
u're d straw to my berry
u're d smoke to my high
And u're d 1 I wanna marry

Cause u're d 1 for me for me
And I'm d 1 for u for u
u take d both of us of us
And we're d perfect two
We're d perfect two
We're d perfect two
Baby me and you
We're d perfect two
------
Dancing is our LiFE :">
NEW STYLE CREW and M-CREW Ü
pauline and aries
DREAM.o5

pagmamahal sayo DREAM :">

VERSE 1.
Ilang gabing malamig na
Ang dumadaan
Akoy sanay na sa ting awayan
At tampuhan
Wala na bang katapusan
Ang pananakit mo...
Ang puso koy umiiyak sau.
Pero kahit na ganun pa man
Ay di ko magawang iwasan ka...
May nagtutulak sa loob ko't
Nagsasabing kailangan kita...
Naiis man ako ay d ko
Matigilin na puso ko
Na tumibok sayo... sayo CHORUS:
Ang puso koy umiiyak ang
Puso ko sayoy nagtatampo
Hindi ko alam kung bat
Ganito dahil sayo...
Ang ibigin ka'y di ko
Sadya kahit masakit ay ayos
Lang dahil mas nangingibabaw
Ang pagmamahal ko sayo...
WHOOH...
VERSE 2.
Ilan araw at gabi(di aq makatulog)
Lagi kitang kapiling d mapakali
Ang pakiramdam ko
D ako makakain kahit ipilit laging
Nag aabang ng tawag mo sa telepono
Tahimik lang ako kahit na kinukutsa
Ako ng mga(lagi namang ganun) kaibigan mo't binabalewala ko lang at iniisangtabi mo ang puso ko'y di mo ba nahahalata... ?
Ikay nakakasakit sa sobrang nakakaiyak nakaka inis nakaka baliw na toh ngunit kahit na ganun paman di ko magawang iwanan ang isang tulad mo,, CHORUS.
Ang puso koy umiiyak ang
Puso ko sayoy nagtatampo
Hindi ko alam kung bat
Ganito dahil sayo...
Ang ibigan ka'y di ko
Sadya kahit masakit ay ayos
Lang dahil mas nangingibabaw
Ang pagmamahal ko sayo...
WHOOH...
Bridge:
Ika'y palaging inaabangan pag galing ka sa work mo!
Handa ko gawin lahat para lang ang
Relasyon natin ay mag work o0hh...
Madami na ang mga circumstances na nadaan natin di ko hahayaan na mha sempleng bagay lang ang makahahadlang satin...
Umaasa pa ako sa mga sinabi mo at pinangako mo sakin nung una tayong 2 maging magkasintahan sabi mo sakin di mo ako na magagawang mapaluha.
Aking mata na ngayon dahil sayo ay palaging magmumugto banihag mo ang puso ko at sayo ay tuluyan nahulog ito kaya kahit na saktan mo pa ako... bakit ba wala akong paki ano man ang sabihin nila mahal kita sakin siya.
Sya lamang ang mahalaga iba talaga kapag umiibig ka ng lubusan sadyang ikay mauubusan para sa sarili mo binigay mo na lahat,,,
Ang ihip ng hangin at ikay magsawa na sa pananakit mo sa kantang to damdamin ko sana ay mabatid mo...
CHORUS.
Ang puso koy umiiyak ang
Puso ko sayoy nagtatampo
Hindi ko alam kung bat
Ganito dahil sayo...
Ang ibigan ka'y di ko
Sadya kahit masakit ay ayos
Lang dahil mas nangingibabaw
Ang pagmamahal ko sayo...
WHOOH... 2x
Pagmamahal sayo 2x...







FAVORiTE ko na tong kanta na to .. nakaka relate ako e.. saktong sakto ung kanta .. :)

a conversation with my friend that reminds me a lot ..

f: kala ko ba hindi na ???

me: ou nga hindi ko na sya mhal ..

f: e bket prang my something kau ?

me: ha ? napapansin mo din ?

f: oo sa mga post mo !

me: :))))) haha .. dame nio na nkaka pansin a..

f: wew mhal mo pa tlga sia

me: kasalana bang ma fall ulet ?? :D

f: ndi nman po

me: un nman pla e..:)

f: kau na lng kasi ulet 

me: di nga pede e

f: bket ??

me: hindi nia alam e ^^

f: wew tanga ka tlga kahit kaylan

me: bkit ? wala ba syang pakiramdam ? manhid nman nya :D

f: sabagay , e bka di nia pa feel e !

me: ou nga no .. :D

f: diba .

me: haha .. yaan mo bukas feel na nya un :)))))))))

f: baliw ka tlga how about mr. C ? nsa canada na sia noh ?

me: ou .. im happy for him.. 

f: bkit ba kau nag br8k ?

me: kasi dahil dun sa pinag uusapan nten .. binalik nya ko dun e..

f: pro mhal mo sia ?

me: ndi na .. si anu na nga kasi ang laman ulet ..

f: wew again and again kasi e nuh . pakasal na kau ha !

me: bket nman kasal agad ?

f: pra wala ng hiwalayan .

me: lol.. ayaw ko nman na mging sya ang asawa ko.. :D

f: e sinu ?

me: basta mdame pa jan .. ganda ko ata .. :D

f: ko ?? atah ? bka mganda tlga TAYO !!

me: a ou nga pla..

f: alam ko na .

me:anu un ?

f: pahabulin mo sia . pra malaman mo kung mhal ka tlga..

me: e panu kung hindi :((

f: wawah nman si poleng :P

me: lol .. shut up ..


ngaun sia na ang gusto kong maging ASAWA..
FUTURE HUSBAND nga e.. :">
MAHAL NA MAHAL kO Si ARiES VALENZUELA MACANDiLi.. :*