Live Life into the Fullest daw sabi ni DREAM

Im a Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia stage 2 carrier, I know Im too young for this disease Im only just 15 years old .. Damn disease kills me every day .. I attempt suicide last july 5, 2011 but it wasn’t successful. My uncle see me hanging in that ladder with string on my neck. I know that’s a sin but I just want my life to be easy. Leukemia plus broken hearted brings my mind to an unnecessary decision in my life. I love him so much and I can’t live without him, how would be my future without aFUTURE HUSBAND without my DREAM. I spent a lot of time caring and loving him, full attention , but that was not enough. Now he love’s another girl and every time i visit his wall it hurts me a lot. I miss the way he texted me every morning when he wake up “good morning dream kaen ka na pag gising mo iloveyou:*” but now no more text like that. When it was late at night he will text me“dream tulog na tayo good night sweetDREAMs see you in DREAMland  iloveyou and I want you to be the only girl that i love for the rest  of my life” Now tell me how would be my life without him, without the man of my DREAMs, without the man where i promised my FUTURE. Now he came back my DREAM is with me again but i know that his just force to do that because he wants me to be happy and enjoy my last days here on earth. Fucking Shit I feel I’m so damn no one loves and cares me at all. Were only just friends but i still love him more than a friend.  OMG i want the old HIM the old us the DREAM. :/  I guess it’s easy for me to die rather than take all this problems, take all this pain. Haiissst.. Damn Life :’(  Damn Cancer .. I hate my Life so Much :/